A Novel Way to Experience Loyalty

So this morning, we all woke up to find something AWESOME waiting for us. I’ve been sporadically jumping up and down and squealing all throughout the morning.

This morning, a novelization of our most recent short film, Loyalty was posted on facebook! Go here to read it, because it’s AWESOME.

The author, Antoine Bandele (or SilentBat as he’s known to the lightsaber community) was one of the official judges for the Lightsaber Choreography Competition. He’s entered LCC a couple times himself in Ricky vs. SilentBat and Nemesis: RvSB2. Ever since Loyalty came out, he has been a constant supporter and fan. We can hardly believe how much interest he’s shown Loyalty and our filmmaking in general.

*gushing alert*

Oh. My. GOSH!!!!!! Antoine, thank you so much for writing this. It is Too. Stinkin. Cool. I can’t even imagine how many times you had to watch the movie to be able to catch all the little details and facial expressions. *squeals in delight*

Screen Shot 2013-10-14 at 2.07.34 PMYou captured Alar’s conflict so perfectly and I was just stunned. I loved how you wrote the pivotal moment when she decides not to kill her master:

“Alar gripped her lightsaber tighter. She took a deep breath. Her arms began to shake. She could feel Andreas within her, prying the darkness away. He had to make her see reason.”

This just expresses so perfectly what we tried to get across in the movie. Back when we were building the story, we knew this moment needed to accomplish two things. The most important thing was to portray Alar’s indecision, of course, but in the background, it was also vital that we express Andreas’ selflessness. He’s not trying to convince her not to kill him cause he doesn’t want to die. He’s trying to stop her downward march towards the dark side. The way you wrote that entire section just… wow. It put into words exactly what we were thinking.

Andreas’ sorrow at seeing his apprentice fall to the dark side and his constant concern for her was also perfectly portrayed. I loved how constantly throughout the whole thing, Andreas’ is insistently, stubbornly thinking that Alar is not to blame. Though Andreas’ thought may not have been true (Alar made her own choices), it’s still very true to his character. It’s a little imperfection that makes him feel human, and I love that you put it in your novelization.

And don’t even get me started on Loban! If there is anything that I would go back and change about our film if I could, I would have delved farther into who Loban was and where he came from. Of the three characters in the film, he’s the one that’s the most flat and unmotivated. You gave him dimensionality and more purpose. My favorite moment of the entire story is after Alar makes the decision not to kill Andreas:

Screen Shot 2013-10-14 at 2.08.49 PM

“The siblings locked lightsabers, their beams crackled on one another. Loban’s shock at Alar’s betrayal was for only a moment. She had decided her fate the second she chose to defy him. Without a blink of his eye he swung towards her neck. She ducked just in time but Loban was on her fiercer than he ever was before.”

I feel like this is the moment where we really understand Loban. He did care for his sister and was hurt and betrayed by her defiance. I’m so grateful that you took the time to express Loban’s character more because I felt like it kind of got skipped over in the film.

My other favorite moment was the ending:

“He closed her dead eyes and bowed his head into her shoulder. Be at peace, Alar. I won’t fail you again.”

Screen Shot 2013-10-14 at 2.10.08 PM

You just about made me cry.

The whole thing is just amazing and I can assure you that it will be read many times, over and over again. Thanks so, so much for sharing this with us!

And that’s the way the carrot crunches,

Annie

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About Annie Poling

Annie is an aspiring filmmaker with interests in directing, acting, cinematography, producing, screenwriting, and music. Basically, the whole making-a-movie thing. She’s very organized and helps keep us on track as we tend to descend into silliness. She’s directed several short films starring her younger siblings, as well as working as the cinematographer and camera operator for Phillip’s LCCX entry. She’s also into reading, various needle crafts, cooking, and playing the piano very loudly. Oh, and also, she collects weird hats and office supplies. View all posts by Annie Poling

2 responses to “A Novel Way to Experience Loyalty

  • Michelle

    WOW. I can’t wait to read this! Awesome!

  • MattM

    It was a VERY good read, and I totally agree about how Antoine was able to give even more depth to the characters, in particular Loban. I felt like the part when he actually kills Alar is so well described–I had loved how the film showed his shock at what he’d done, and now it’s been described even more! Also, he did an amazing job at describing the most emotional highlights–the deaths and Alar’s decision. Plus when I saw the link on Facebook I didn’t realize the writer was one of the LCC judges–now I am super embarrassed! Excited for you guys and the success of Loyalty and a solid ‘well done’ round of applause to Antoine! 😀

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